Wally West—Relationship Consultant
by quiet-raindrop
Summary: Because sometimes you just have to mess with a friend's love life-or in this case, create a love life for them.


**Author's Note:** This marks my **20****th**story! *Streamers* *Balloons* While this is a drop in the bucket compared to other writers, I cannot help but celebrate this

small accomplishment. For the occasion, I wanted to public something fun and a bit different. I have never written Wally before so this is my first try and . . . it

could be awful. I warned you, okay?

**Disclaimer: **Batman Owners 1; Me: 0

* * *

**Wally West—Relationship Consultant**

It took about a half-hour into the event for him to make the decision.

"You were totally right about this Rob. This is absolutely boring."

"I know I'm right and don't call me Rob."

"Sorry Dick."

Wally was only half-heartedly apologizing to his fellow teammate.

"So can I go know?" He asked.

"No." Dick said shaking his head. "You asked to be invited and you were, so you have to stay here till it's over."

Wally looked at the huge space filled to the brim with people.

"Seriously, I can be out of this room in less than two sec . . ."

"You have to stay."

The red-headed speedster rolled his eyes.

He should have never asked Dick to invite him to a party at Wayne Manor, but after months of hearing how boring it supposedly was curiosity got the better of

him.

"So can we prank someone or something?" He asked hopefully.

"Wally, no. Alfred would kill me."

Wally shook his head.

He had no idea why Ro—Dick feared the old guy so much. Maybe it was a bat thing he didn't understand.

"Hate to break this to you Rob, but this isn't a party—it's a prison."

"Stop calling me that."

"Just tell people it's a school thing."

"We don't go to the same school." Dick pointed out.

"Riiiiiight. It's like a brotherhood bonding thing."

"This is going downhill." Dick muttered.

Wally shook his head.

Dick was almost like a different person out of that suit—well, maybe while wearing _this _type of suit.

"At least you have awesome food." He said as he pointed to the buffet table.

Dick went to say something when suddenly there was a light breeze and a plate with cheesecake appeared with Wally.

"No powers." Dick hissed.

"This was the last piece!" Wally said before he took a healthy bite.

Dick shook his head and looked back across the room.

"This is so good. Seriously did this come from cheesecake heaven? Tell me the odds here that Alfred is actually an angel."

Ro—_Dick_ didn't seem to be in a playful mood.

"Dude. The only way you are going to have fun at these things is if you are going to make some yourself. You. Me. Can of spray cheese, what do you say?"

Dick wasn't listening.

"Okay, the whole 'ignoring me thing' won't work."

"What?" Dick asked turning around.

"Never mind."

Wally turned his attention back to the cheesecake and Dick went back to—staring off into space.

Wally pivoted slightly to see what exactly was holding his friends attention.

Instantly, his curiosity was peaked.

Was Robin staring at a girl?

It took less than five seconds to confirm it. Yes—yes he was.

She was a fellow redhead which was nice to see. She was kind of cute judging by a side profile viewed through a man's drinking glass.

Maybe this was going to be some fun after all.

Wally finished off the cheesecake and reached out to touch Dick's shoulder—he stopped.

This was _Robin._ He had to be subtle about this. Crafty even. This was Batman's protégé who had been trained to withstand interrogation.

Wally formed a plan.

"So Ro-Dick, ah, tell me about how school was this year."

"School? You want to talk about school?" Dick said looking confused.

Wally backtracked.

"Just about anything exciting happening—foodfights, prankwars . . ."

"They really don't do stuff like that at Gotham Academy."

"The things you are missing my poor friend by not attending public school." Wally shook his head sympathetically.

"What a boring place your school must be. I should run by sometime and spice things up."

Dick's face screamed that that wasn't a good idea—at all—in the least.

"Chill, dude. I was joking."

"With you I can never tell." Dick said with a smile that started to grow.

Now he was staring to act like himself.

Wally did a quick check for the girl. She had moved on so that she stood more at an angle to them.

It was go time.

"Speaking of angels, she is _cute_." Wally said in the most innocent way possible.

Dick turned his head and there was no hiding the fact that his eyes flared for a moment.

"Oh, ah . . . oh?"

"It's like completely obvious. One, she's cute, two, she's a redhead—I actually think you get extra cute points for that . . . do you know her name?"

Dick seemed confused for a moment.

"Oh . . . ah . . . I think it's . . . Barbara."

The ease in which he said the name confirmed it. He totally knew who she was.

On with the plan.

"Here hold my plate." Wally thrust the empty plate and fork into Dick's hands. "I'm going to go say hi."

"No, Wally, I . . ."

* * *

"Pardon me."

The girl turned around and Wally was able to complete his assessment that she was indeed cute.

"Hi, there." He gave her his best smile.

"Hello." She gave an amused smile that was quite adorable too.

Man, Robin was going to be a lucky guy when he was done.

"I'm Wally West."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Barbara Gordon."

They shook hands good-naturedly.

"I was happy to see a fellow redhead here. We are a rare breed you know."

The girl smiled.

"I see."

"Actually in all honestly that isn't the only reason."

"I'm shocked."

Wally smiled.

She had a sense of humor too—excellent.

"I'm actually here to apologize."

"Apolo . . . why?" Her eyebrows knitted.

"For my friend. He should know better than to stare. It's just rude, especially in this day and age."

"What are you talking about?"

Wally used his head to nod in the direction he knew Dick should be standing.

The girl's eyes narrowed.

"Dick?" She gave a short laugh. "Don't read too much into that. We've known each other since we were kids. He's just being overprotective—like a brother."

Rob, Dick—man one day he was going to get this right—had known this cutie since he was little? Where had this information been hidden?

"Are you sure?" Wally pressed.

"Yes."

"Describe the look he has at this moment."

Barbara took a quick glance.

"Annoyed, but that is just how he is when I talk with other guys."

"Reeeallly?"

Now she looked annoyed too.

"Who are you again?"

"Wally West, I'm from Central City. My Uncle knows B . . . Mr. Wayne. I've never been to one of these things so I begged R . . . Dick to invite me."

"Not very bright are you?" The girl said as she stared about the room.

This girl was cute and witty. Awesome.

"So you can honestly tell me that you don't think about him in any other way?"

" . . . No."

"There was a pause. Does that mean there is an 'except for that one time'?" He pressed.

The girl's cheeks were slightly red, but she held her ground.

"No."

"Wow, I have never seen this level of denial before."

"Are you some sort of relationship consultant? A Dr. Phil wannabe?"

"I'm just saying that if I had a sister and looked at her like that, people might start to say things."

"I'm not his sister."

"I know." Wally said with some triumph. "That's the point. So how about a test of sorts?"

"How would that work?"

"We would just see which of us was righter."

"You mean, more right?"

"Exactly, more righter."

The girl shook her head for some reason.

"So you up for it?"

Barbara's blue eyes glinted and she nodded.

"What does the winner get?" She asked.

"Old-fashioned na-na-na-na, I was right-you were wrong—in your face loser, bragging rights."

"Fine. But I think the burden of proof lies on you. I mean, Dick and I aren't together, isn't that proof enough for my argument?"

"What lies on me?"

"You have to try and prove your side." Barbara said.

"Oh, why didn't you just say that?" He wanted to know.

The girl rolled her eyes.

"Well then, you have to do what I say, _exactly _how I say to do it. No questions all right?"

"As long as it's not anything weird."

"Nothing will be too weird." He promised.

"Fine then."

"All right. I want you to give me a huge smile and act like something I just said just made your entire reason for being here justified. Make sure he can see it."

Barbara gave him a look, but then did so.

"How long do I hold this?" She asked through her teeth.

"That's enough anymore and it will be creepy. Can you laugh on command?"

"I guess."

"Okay. Give a short laugh."

It was a very nice laugh.

"Give me your hand."

"What?"

Wally held out his hand.

"Don't freak. Just give me it."

Barbara slowly extended her hand and placed it into his. He swung their hands for a moment.

Barbara smiled again.

"What are you up to?"

"Is being protective a sign of love?" He asked.

"A certain kind, I guess."

"What about jealously?"

She froze for a moment and gave a brief glace over Wally's shoulder.

"I still don't believe it." She said firmly.

Proceed with second phase.

"How do we get out of here? We need to find some hallway with a room that we can hide in. Do you know a place?"

Barbara nodded.

"Good. Point towards the way out. Give me one of those smiles again and pull me out of here."

She didn't trust him but she did as she was told.

* * *

"In here. It's the mop closet." She said apologetically.

"The famous Wayne Manor mop closet? Show me more."

"You're odd, but I can see why you might be friends with Dick."

She closed the door and clicked on the light.

She wasn't lying, it was a mop closet. Small, cramped, complete with a mop.

"Very spacious, but the smell isn't too bad." He said positively.

"So what are we doing in here?"

"Waiting for Dick to come for his _sister_."

Barbara crossed her arms.

"So tell me about you and Dick. I've never heard him talk about you."

"Well I've never heard him talk about you." She countered.

"You first."

"We met after his parents died and he came here. My dad is a cop . . ."

"Your dad is a cop?"

"The Commissioner actually." She said with some pride.

"Wow."

Robin had better be careful with this relationship or he would be one dead bird.

"That's neat. Busy, I'm sure."

"What does your uncle do?"

"Oh, just . . . sciency stuff. Have you ever been to Central?"

"Just a few times. It seems nice."

"Thanks. Wish I could reciprocate."

Barbara shrugged.

"You will be able to someday." She said firmly.

Wally clicked the light off.

"Shh." He urged.

Footsteps could be heard.

"Babs? Wally?"

"How far away does he sound to you?" Wally whispered. "And who is Babs?"

"It sounds like he is down around the corridor and I'm Babs."

"Really? He has a cute nickname for you and everything and you _still_ don't realize it?"

"It doesn't mean anything!" Barbara said as she flushed.

"It's all up to you then. I'm out of here."

"Wait, what? What do I do?"

"Count to ten and then come out. Give him that gorgeous smile and see what happens."

"He'll see you if you leave now." She hissed.

"Don't worry about me babe. Tell R . . . Dick to give you my number so you can call and tell me how righter I was."

"Wait don't . . ."

* * *

The strange kid was gone just like that. Barbara shut the door and started counting.

* * *

Dick walked down the hall further.

"Wally? Barbara?"

What was Wally up to and why did Barbara have to smile at him like that?

Dick balled his hands into fists.

Where did they go? Where did Barbara drag him off to?

Barbara wasn't the type of girl who let guys run off with her, but she was the one that actually did the dragging off.

"Barbara! Wally! Are you down here?

Suddenly, a door opened.

* * *

"What are you doing in the mop closet? And where is Wally?"

Barbara gave him a smile.

"Who?"

"Wally? The redhead guy that you dragged off."

Barbara tried to keep her smile up.

Was Dick really jealous? She had to investigate more.

"Oh, I was just showing him around."

"So where is he?" Dick demanded.

"He went off somewhere."

Dick seemed to eye her and calm down.

"Are you okay?"

"Okay? I'm fine."

Dick nodded.

"I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't . . . bugging you."

"Bugging me? He's your friend isn't he? He seemed like a nice guy."

Weird, but nice.

"Well, yeah, were . . . friends. I just don't think he would be your type of guy."

"My type of guy? What makes you think that?"

Dick was caught off guard.

"Uh . . . I mean he's kind of strange and not very serious. He's kind of sloppy and . . . I just couldn't see you with him."

"He has red hair you know. That's a plus."

"What, so you are looking for a guy with red hair?"

"No, I'm just saying." Barbara said swinging her hands.

Dick looked away.

* * *

This was so not happening. He was about to lose her to Wally? He never even had a chance to have her—to tell her.

That was his own fault for not saying anything.

"Listen Babs . . ."

She gave him a smile and crossed her arms in front of her pretty black dress.

"I always meant . . . I guess things just kept happening."

"What are you going on about?"

"Sorry." He tried to gather his courage. "I've always wanted to tell you how much I like you."

"I should think so, goofball. We've known each other since . . ."

"No, not like that. Like . . . like . . ."

He couldn't really read her expression.

Not knowing what quite else to do, Dick tugged her arm to bring her closer and placed his lips over hers.

He felt her body freeze, but then slowly thaw out under his arms.

He realized that she was kissing him back—pretty urgently too.

Trying to regain some sense of happening, he tried to pull back but she wouldn't let him.

"Uh, Babs?" Dick managed to say.

"Hmm?" She mumbled against his lips

"What is happening?"

"You're kissing me silly."

Their eyes met.

"I'm pretty sure, you're doing most of the kissing."

"You mind?" She asked batting her eyes.

Dick shook his head and they resumed.

"Oh, shoot." Barbara said pushing him back.

"What?" Dick feared that he did something wrong.

"Do you have that kid's number?"

"What kid?"

"Wally."

"Wally?!" Dick exclaimed. "Why do you need his number?"

"Because he was 'more righter' than I was. Although honestly I think I got the better deal out of this."

"What deal?" Dick wanted to know.

"Do you really like me Dick?"

He blinked.

"Of course Babs."

"You could have said something."

"I tried to that one time and then we almost kis . . . but then it was weird and we never talked about it."

"It doesn't feel weird now." Barbara said with a smirk.

* * *

Wally sat comfortably on his bed as he stared up at his wall with all his "souvenirs". Now up there was the invitation to Wayne Manor.

There was a text on his phone from Barbara telling him to call her when able so that she could up hold her half of the bargain.

He was quite proud of the accomplishment.

Wally West—Kid Flash—Relationship Consultant.

* * *

**Random End Notes: **If you want to hear the weird story about this, I was watching a Korean drama called "Dating Agency Cyrano" and for some reason this

story fell into my head. That's how my mind works ladies and gentlemen. Now it's your turn to tell me how my writing of Wally was? Please?

-Also, do I have my facts right? I think Wally is from Central City and I _thought_ his uncle was some sort of scientist. I was just going on memory here.

{Dick/Babs because, HELLO! They are perfect for each other!}

Alright you know the drill. Advice, and (gentle) [be nice please! :}] criticism, would be appreciated. Or a haiku if you feel like one.


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